"when i can't remember what grace is...."

.:in the loneliest places:.
tell me, once again, who i am.

wow.
geez.a.lou.

don't get me started on cheezeball contemporary christian music. if you have before, you know how cynical and haughty i can be. horrible. both the music and my attitude...but mostly the music.

then
every now and again
even the coldest of hearts
has a moment
where she turns to that station
and
hears
a beautifully simple song
that answers the only prayer
she's earnestly been making over the last year.

doesn't make the song a great work of art.
or the video any better.
but it makes a difference.
still processing that.

"We all have our own go-to people, but you girls are my forever go-to people."

Quoteblog...Queen Bee style. I've known these ladies starting at the age of 5, which has now been THIRTY YEARS for some of us. Wowza. We spent a long weekend of CELEBRATION in Florida recently.




"The get up and go got up and went." -sadee

"We've got security." -lou

"Why does Charlotte Russe have an outlet store?" -jill


"If people see me pick my nose, I don't really care."

"Are you gonna put this on your blog? I don't want to have to censor myself." -sadee

"I really like this...well, until I saw these f*ckers." -sloan on birds

"Are you doing inappropriate things with my pen?" -lou

"Self-diagnosed. High anxiety. Tightly wound." -medhurst

"Oh, we're not in Colorado. I have a hard time remembering that you live in Florida." -maggie

"I thought you would appreciate that. You especially." -keri

"...the lesbian and her lesbian friend. COME ON, YOU CARPET MUNCHERS!!" -maggie

"I really don't like bees. But I really like bees!" -allison

"That's exactly what it says at the Gap. 'This b already bought something online.'"

"Sara, you should skip the ruffage." -svr

"Mary told me she would buy my Coach purse." -maggie

"He's very generous in his own kind of ways. But those are not his ways." -sadee

"I...am about....to stick my face...in that big bowl of cho-co-late mousse." -jill

"I frickin' love enchiladas." -fritzel


"I had my moment where I invited Jesus into my heart. But it was a lie." -mg

"I would work here just to hear "Sleigh Ride" every day." -sara on disney



"All the other girls are gonna be sooo jealous!" -allie on fairy dust

"It's not your fault, I just look chubby." -jill

"It may be cutting off the electricity of my body." -svr

"I would like to do a water aerobics class. Like with senior citizens." -sadee on exercise

"Now, if I'm a white girl from Illinois, is it still just a "little" spicy?" -jill

"Jill has two beers and is....ready to screw the bartender." -maggie on tolerance

"You want some drizzle dizzle?" -lou

"I can't even speak grammar." -maggie

"I'm a little tipsy. I don't know if I've ever been totally drunk around you guys."

"Jill's like the paparazzi." -maggie

"Keri, do you want to go next? While you can still form a sentence?" -jill on highs and lows

"You ever had your business done?" -jill
"Not professionally." -lou

"Never roam alone!" -luke on bernard

"Oh, I was on the tit."

"Oh, shit! That's great!" -luke on pictures

"....and Sloan is the same height as the Medhurst girls." -sadee on the same pictures

"Do you think Bernard is playing with his penus in here?"

"They don't make a condom for your heart, Jill."

"Did you guys know that in high school I was really popular for doing the running man??" -keri

"I like to touch my flower." -smf

"Sloan, do you have a pen?"
"I thought you stole a pen."

"If we were in the DAR, you'd be our historian." -sadee

"Hair down. No boobs." -allie on first impressions

"I enjoyed the side trip to the ghetto." -lou

"Lou, we should sit together more often. We're funny." -jill

"She is NOT okay."

"All of the shirts in my closet are short sleeved. And I live in Illinois." -sloan

"No, thanks. We don't drink and drive." -sadee on coupons

"Oh, are you gonna put it in your purse and recycle it?" -maggie on pizza crust

"Now why did we stop when I just said I was gonna do what I was gonna do?" -sloan



"Her name is Helen because Sloan likes to mute her." -maggie on the garmin

"There I am, itching my hoo-ha. Don't worry; I'm not up in there."



"You are ruining their 'Happiest Place on Earth' moment." -lou

"...And now she's Elmo." -sadee

"Doesn't this just make you happy, Jill?"
"Now there's an adult up there...OK, he's mentally handicapped."
"No chocolate! GO DANCE UP THERE!!" -all sadee on downtown disney

"Those sorority girls like that crap." -sadee on paint your own pottery
"And Jill." -maggie

"Are you saying my neck is fat?"

"Yeah-I have a godmother. She's 78." -maggie
"You can be in a movie at 15, why can't you be a godmother?" -sara
"Do you have pictures yet?" -lou on the plimptons
"So George Plimpton is married to the young model?!" -sara
(all of the above plus 18 other quotes happened while all 8 of us were in the car. There was only ONE actual topic of conversation.)

"You're fine. Move on. Build a bridge." -maggie

"I should drink more." -medhurst

"And I do watch a little too much Nancy Grace. I own that." -sadee on conservative views

"Why do gay people need their own newspaper?"

(after the insanity of the boys visit, my brother returned to denver just 2 weeks later. with my mom. we had a blast doing all kinds of touristy things. and generally laughing at random nonsense. that's where the first few quotes come from...)

"Are you going to get drunk and then ride roller coasters?"
"No. I'm going to ride roller coasters and THEN get drunk."

"I'm old and I don't have a job." -doug on the ladies

"This is upside down? THIS IS UPSIDE DOWN!!" -doug on mocking jill

"It come right up to us."
"Came."
"It come right up. I could have petted it."
"Pet it."
"PETTED IT."

"It is inbred in me."
"Ingrained."
"INBRED."

"I'm going loosey goosey, so I'm having more fun." -jill
"This tickles my tummy!" -mom

"Do you hear that thunder?" -mom
"That's the Tilt-a-Whirl." -jill

"This thing is held together with bubble gum! You can't live forever..." -doug's new best friend

"Are you making fun of me?" -mom

"I was just putting on a 2.5 multiplier." -doug on height

"This is horrible! I am not having fun!" -mom

(end of family visit...we will now be moving on to Trailer Trash Thin Man style, LT's bachelorette party and wedding, and life as "normal" for me.....you've been warned.)

"It just degenerates really quickly when there's words involved." -micah on games

"I have some tequilla because I've been hanging out with Mexicans." -nico

"I just tattooed half the MILFs on the Western Slope!" -brian

"Honey! Come watch me get a tattoo from this gay boy!" -random AARP tour busser

"I don't think I can handle any happiness right now." -kendra on chinese food

"I AM LEGEND is coming true." -darren on NYC
"Will Smith always brings the dope stuff." -marcus

"Apparently you've never been to a Diana Ross concert. You always have a back-up outfit." -marcus

"It's like IBS. But of the soul." -nils

"You look like a girl who can move some shit." -eric

"You see, my biggest goal is to eat a hot dog later in the evening." -LT on dinner

"The army surplus store in Pekin is real good if you like guns." -phil

"It might be my armpit swagger." -kevin

"It's her birthday. There are more cupcakes." -mat

"I love that you went balls first." -micah

"It softens up pretty quickly, but then it goes hard." -tarynn

"I wish I could carry a purse and not look gay." -tyler

"Were you just telling an enema story and I missed the whole thing???" -tarynn

"It's probably licensed." -jill on hot dog carts

"I didn't know he would be getting naked. But that's my fault." -kevin on charlie

"Weed and leather. That's my billboard." -marcus

"So I let him go right on thinking that I slept with his mom." -mat

"I don't like going through life with an agenda. It's like a job fair." -de la

"I'm curious to see your biorhythms." -brian

"Don't pick me up, I'm fine right where I am."

-I have been missing Illinois sumpin' fierce these past few weeks. Not going back this summer is a killer. I'll be back in October, but it's so not the same. My connection with geography and landscape is

-Super redeeming conversations with kids recently. Doesn't necessarily convince me that I'm in the right place for now, but it does give me a little boost to know I'm making a difference for the little ones.

-While driving the other day, I heard a song by a band that I'm friends with...it took me back to the place in time when they were just getting some notoriety around Denver. I remember going to their shows and being wicked excited for what was to come for them. In general, there was a hopeful feeling for my life then. Recently I've experienced a lack of hope. Kind of an all-encompassing one. Yikes. Newness is not something that's been near to me in a quite a bit. Hrrmm...

-However, my friend GBinder and I just started a new project that may change that. It's mostly top secret, but we're both anticipating big things on the horizon by the end of the year. Baby action steps for now.

-Since I started my big girl job, lazy mornings, bike rides and coffeeshops have been replaced with early bedtimes, naps and movies. Le sigh. However, I am taking advantage of this afternoon at Crema. Love the large versions of my little chair here. And the Herkimmer is pretty killer, too.

-The increase in movie-watching is thanks to Kevin. However, our living arrangement agrees with me. The other night I made dinner and then he treated to ice cream....followed by some foos. Normal night. Solid night.

"And then I puked barf and puke."

"Whoa. That's a long time for livin'."

"This is Justin Beiber."
"No, this is Katy Perry."
"Well, it has a Justin Beiber voice."
"And it says 'Baby'."
"That means he has a wife."

"No! I was onpatient!"

"One time I did something that was danger. I went skydiving off a building. And I landed on my feet, of course."

"I think I smell my mom coming. Actually, that's my dad I think I smell. That's my dad you smell."

"HEY Miss J! Is that how you spell your stinkin' name?!"

"You just took a huge dump on my day."

"She really is that adorable."

"You look very pretty today."
"I know."

"Is that your real voice??"

"You want to talk about failure?" (proceeds to sing Dolly Parton's Jolene)

"My middle name is usually called 'Cinderella'."

"I'm pretty good with nature."

"You know me-I'm a big peanut fan, so I'll have a hamburger before I leave."

"I love the smell of memory."

"Well, it sounds like 'urine,' so add the 'b'."

"It's not classic because it's 'a classic,' it's classic because it's classic."

My brother Doug and cousin Ryan are here from Illinois. Counting me and our Denver cousin Ian, there has been a week of 4 Bradfords together creating quoteblog magic. Not for the fainthearted or anyone with any tender sensibilities.

We played many hours of Catchphrase, hung out at St. Mark's and the Thin Man, went to a Rockies' game and the REI on the Platte River....that's the backdrop for the first set of gems.


"What I am doing now...is hard." -doug

"She knows all the black characters." -ian

"I don't know that much about Neptune, but I know it has 'tune' at the end of it. And Mars doesn't." -ian

"Play wood?" -ryan

"I don't have proper..." -doug
"FOOTWEAR!" -ryan

"What happens when Mars attacks and you don't have the internet?" -doug

"That's what I meant." -jill
"That's what you said." -doug
"And that's what I meant." -jill

"So even the black kids in Denver are hipsters." -doug

"There's a car coming. You probably can't hear it." -ian

"She is gonna be rocked." -doug

"They're stretch fabric." -ian on his shorts
"They're shop rags." -ryan

"Chics are of the essence."
"Look at the puppy in the truck!"

"There is a girl in the car. And she is your sister." -jill

"You might be the only person smoking a cigarette outside REI." -ian

"And that was before it was 90% dark." -doug

"Hey Doug, you got that foosball table together yet?" -ian

"I'm not a squirrel. Or a rabbit." -ryan

"I'm really sorry, guys. That should've been easy. But you are idiots." -ian

"How does it get dangerous? I will bang my sh&t to the right." -doug

"This is where Ryan Bradford needs to learn." -doug

"Denver gooder." -ryan

"There is mastering a skill and knowing when to use it." -doug



Sunday night we went up and camped outside of Glenwood Springs. There was a fire ban, so we wore our headlamps and entertained ourselves by playing dice games.
The boys insisted that we throw some thug poses. That's Ian in the middle and Doug on the right. We're pretty legit.


"Most people, when they're betting with rocks that they find in a driveway..."-ryan

"I'm not doing the Doug dance for nothing." -doug

"I can't wait to be there when you tell them how many rocks you won." -ryan

"IN COLORADO!" -ryan


We met our cousin Kelly, her boyfriend Jason (some of my earliest Denver posse) and their friends from California at the trailhead for Hanging Lake. It's a mile hike, virtually straight up, to this magnificent lake.


"Four Bradfords. Six idiots."



The view on the way up...

"Quicker to a cigarette! Quicker to a cigarette!" -ryan and doug
"There's no crying in hiking." -doug
"See you guys in 150 feet!" -ian
"Are you a hippie now?" -jason













Jill, Doug & Ryan under Spouting Rock



On the drive back to Denver, we decided to have our picnic lunch at Vail Pass. The sweet view and refreshing breeze prompted us to do some yoga. Well, Ian and I actually did yoga. Doug and Ryan just mocked us. It was pretty standard.


"So apparently living in the suburbs means you have grass in your yard."



"Don't drink beer when you're older."
"I always make statistics up. Period."





"Wait-who's Mike Bradford?"
"You and your dumb deaf ear!"


After the past few weeks I've had, with major trust issues shaking out and basically not feeling comfortable anywhere, it was super fantastic to have these boys here and just spend a week existing. That's good stuff right there.

"Trying to make sense of it is like trying to gather the river in your arms."

the absence of blogs (quote, book or otherwise) has many contributing factors. i've not really pondered whether or not to share with the internets what's been happening. the last few days it's become apparent that an outpouring is nearing inevitability. wait for it. and thanks for loving me.

"I'm on a chair! I'm on a chair! But I can't dance." -christie

"They're Scottish. Or maybe British. Well, they're not from Colorado."

"I have a super developed sense of stating the obvious." -john

"He ruined my chances of getting an account at Blockbuster." -nils

"That's what I get for being a nice Christian gay." -marcus

"Meadowlark gets his own day? I've known you for 8 years! I don't have my own day." -edubs

"Aside from your vocabulary, I'm not really sure what you have going for you." -stu

"Are there pants? Or are there short shorts?" -john

"Now I'm telling my two Thin Man friends. Well, Jill's my all-the-time friend." -LT

"When you go out with clean intentions, that's when fish jump in your boat." -john

"You know what I like: bacon and beer." -jill

"It's like wet Denver is floating by." -logan

"Either way, she put it in a box." -dicker

"That was a giant horse's penis squirting." -laura

"$2.50 PBR?! That sh^t better come in a can!" -micah

"This is Care Bear Halloween! This is CARE BEAR HALLOWEEN!!" -jill

"Old people should go home and leave me alone." -steve

"It looks like he's in the middle of a 'no rules' week." -JRe

"Just 'cuz Jesus and I don't see eye to eye doesn't mean we don't both have eyes." -john

"I'll be sausage slappin' down the street to save your a$$." -james

"That dude plus sports equals zero." -edubs

"It puts the lotion on its' back or else it gets my hose again." -jason

"Blacks are like redheads: there's no in between." -rod

"I like a little beer poop mix." -will

"I'm not even going to give you the "For instance," because it's bad." -dolo

"Don't let the leather fool you, he is a child." -dicker

"Maybe it's a competition to see who can read harder." -adrian

"All I got was blue balls. And it tasted good." -andrew

"No, I have a picture with him on facebook, I just don't remember his name." -kevin

"She tried to be incognito. But she was totally suspicious. She was incogspicious." -bj

"This is not awkward on three different levels." -zac

on my recent drive through kansas, i got to listen to some sweet jams. courtesy of some cds i made circa 2006-2008....i make some pretty sick mixes. here are a few for your listening pleasure.

i like the album version better, but i dig that he's playing with his hood up.






oh, keb mo. you my boy. (i do despise jay leno, but it was the only decent video.)




rufus. a roadtrip staple. hard to pick just one, but this one makes it for the bea arthur reference.






this is a recent favorite. i heard it as i was walking down the street last night.

"Like a one-a-day vitamin regimen."

"I'm all Banked out." -Dolo

"Whatever. There are Carl's out there who need to be claimed!" -genny binder

"It's like a hobo playground out here. Babar's hobo jungle." -john wynne

"Watch out jeans!"

"Steroids will do you no good, dude. And they'll shrink your balls, too." -troy

"Anytime I go to a place that has a steak buffett...." -dicker

"And then I went to second base. And didn't run." -erin

"It smells better than hot pee." -jason

"Whoa. Whoa. I'm a faggot. I need to go. Away from you." -brian

"It's not because she's gay. It's because she's gross." -jaci

"He seems like a one trick pony. But I like his trick." -john wynne

"If I were a piece of cornbread, where would I hide?" -david

"I hate that he's here. And that you know him." -loren

"I walk around real quiet at night. Pleasure or pain. Where is it?" -drew

"You just dorked it." -batzer

"Black women drew the blueprints. White women are scared." -patty

"I have a scar on my soul. From cheese." -al

"Hey-can you guys drive an automatic?" -ryan

"Is there bacon stock in the soup? Because I like that." -hones

"Ok. But not two handfuls." -shannon

"If I was gay, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating twinkies. Or crackers." -david

The Kickball Metaphors (or Thoughts from a Bike)

-music should fit the atmosphere. specifically if you've obviously worked at creating an atmosphere. por ejemplo: r & b, southern rock, and john lee hooker do not equal Gypsy House Cafe. all three were heard there recently. it was super disconcerting.

-i made perhaps the perfect summer scarf last night. i found a funzie fabric with little kids swinging from trees, which i used with a small blue floral print remnant. if you still haven't checked out my stuff, you can support a terrific cause by clicking on my etsy site. (the cause would be Scum of the Earth.)

-"Because you can't decide if you're a vehicle or a pedestrian." that's right, mandykeller, i can't. as i ride my bike everywhere, i oftentimes find myself above the law. well, in my head anyways. i also find myself talking to cars (even more than when driving) and pointing, saying things like "SCOOT-SCOOT-SCOOT-ER-ROO!" when they aren't doing what i'd like.

-mostly i love that i'm noticing more and more about where i live. stuff i haven't noticed before. the habit of going to new bookstores and coffeeshops is accompanied by eating brunch by myself at a newly discovered locale every monday.

-you also have the opportunity to notice and engage with people when you're biking. random three-sentence conversations happen, and you actually see the motorcycle with two wheels in the front (what is that all about, anyway?) and have time to think about it.

-regardless of the mode of transportation, i am thoroughly annoyed by people who sloooow down to turn right. especially when one-way streets are involved. grrr.

-for some reason, toni braxton's "Unbreak My Heart" has been in my head today. i'll go ahead and blame the gypsy house for that.

-so there's this neighbor kid, maybe 7-years-old, who rides a blue bike. he's taken to saying "Hi" to me quite often. our neighborhood isn't exactly booming with kids, and i think his parents only let him ride on the sidewalk on our side of the block. lately every time i come home on my bike, he rides over to say hey. he usually sits on his bike at the end of our walk and waits until i pull my bike up the stairs. maybe i'll ask his name and have a new bff.

-originally i was going to philosophize on how kickball scenarios translate quite well into real life situations, but i've lost the gusto for it. essentially, there is much to be said for being aware of others, but just as much to be said for being focused on yourself. maybe i'll keep that brewing and report back. cover, stir, simmer.

-in a somewhat related circle of thought, i have found myself being way too apologetic in some instances. as in with my entire being. not necessarily a pushover, but certainly more permissible than usual. i'mma work that out, too.

"What do the poverty-stricken have that I don't?"

my kid quotes may be waning, as i now nanny for a 4-month-old. however, the mother of said child is a doozy. i can't say we're cut from the same cloth entirely (she's a Republican...as in has a George W. Bush magnet on her refrigerator and has read his 2 biographies. what?), but our senses of humor line up quite nicely. so here we have the nora version of the quoteblog.

"Well, I hope you wore something low-cut and completely inappropriate." on interviews

"I'm a Republican, Jill; I'm not an idiot." -on palin

"It makes my eyes bleed." -on the huffington post

"I got day drunk. It's my favorite drunk." -on mother's day

"It's not cold enough to wear tights. Nor is it 1986, so pantyhose are out of the question."

"I already thought you were fantastic, but now I want to hump your leg."

"Is there a noun I can trust?"

"Can you just ask about transgendered individuals? Right now? Just for me?" -Zach

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not friends with blacks or gays." -Todd

"Please come talk to me. Unless you are a woman who struggles with alcoholism. Just a dis-claim-er!" -David

"Why does it always seem like a good idea before we do it?" -Conor

"Oh-three claps for a 91?" -LT

"...and that's how I got beat up in high school." -donread

"It's neard! He has a neck beard. He can't grow facial hair above his jawline! He's harmless." -Charlie

"Unless you bring your kids here, nobody knows." -Seth

"Well, Carmelo left. So there's only about three black people left. There's me, Champ Bailey and then one other dude who works at the food court in the mall."

"No. And stop that." -Leah

"Is it a little fat girl, or is it whatever 'chalupa' means?" -Drew

"He just doesn't know that sometimes there's no talking times." -LT

"Guaranteed. You can't play volleyball and not have a baby." -Yochim

"I thought there was some kind of pre-existing condition. Like health insurance." -Conor

"I think the reason that television was invented is that parades suck." -Todd

"That's why it's really important for you to know that."

"What are you, crazy?! Strawberries are not a treat; they are a fruit." -Maya, 4

"I'll call you when I'm in kindergarten."
"Can I have a tiny barrette? I'll pay you three dollars."
"I'm gonna have an ear piercing party. With pumpkin seeds and asparagus."
"They took a spaceship to the center of the earth. Some got suntanned. And some got dead." -Quianna, 4

"I can't even read a book. But when I grow up, I'm gonna be a mom." -Kate, 4

"No kissing at school. No. Kissing. At. School." -Aaron, 4

"High School Musical 3?! This is torture. But the music on Greatest Tank Battles is awesome. I really like the Battle of Kursk." -Jacob, 8

"I will wash my hands. And I am a little person." -Maria, 5

"There are a thousand things about me I want only you to know..."

i know i've been MIA a while, but i've been busy. and processing. mostly busy. i have been trying my hand as super-nanny, and last week was with 6 families in 5 days. i'm also building up my furry friend list, and have dog sat for 9 dogs in the last month. some of my favorites include a great dane, a boston terrier and a wicked smaaht boxer.


one of the pluses to my new life is that i get to ride my bike. a lot. what bike? the bike i fixed. my church has a non-profit bike shop that is geared towards alternative transportation. if you're committed to making a bike be your main mode of transport, they'll give you one for free. i had gotten a free bike (1980s mountain bike, no less) from one of my nanny families last fall, but hadn't ever taken it in. well, a couple of months ago i did. the fabulous aaron pott helped me tune it up, overhaul the axles and get on the road.

aside from learning all kinds of bike stuff, i now try to ride at least five miles a day. i save errands like the post office and the bank for morning rides, and have only driven my car about twice a week for the last few months. radtastic. that's a picture of my gnarly rear triangle, including the derailleur and gear wheel.



when i'm riding down broadway, or basically any hill, i like to pretend i'm in an 80s movie. not usually Rad (sorry, daniel tosh). i've certainly laughed a few Pee-Wee style when crossing streets and smiling like an idiot. a few weeks ago, i realized something frightening. kevin came over and we watched Goonies. check this out:















ridiculous. apparently i've unknowingly been channelling josh brolin circa 1985. (ps: i cut my hair. and darkened it. i'll probs be rocking the fauxhawk for summer again soon.)

in other news, i've been working on my etsy site. it's not finished yet, and i've been procrastinating that big time. i haven't advertised it, but a shop in denver that's opening this week contacted me to see if i'd be interested in selling my stuff. righteous. (the etsy site is actually a fundraiser for my church, more info on that when i'm fully up and running.)

lastly, i can't stand it when you hold the door open for someone and they touch the handle as they are walking through. especially if you've obviously been holding it for them. geez a lou. seriously? thought i'd hold it just up until the second you were crossing the threshold, then i was gonna let go. people.

"So anything from Kathy goes into a Jazzercise folder."

"Look at you! You're from a Hanna Barbera cartoon. Expect him to get into the Mystery Machine." -John Wynne

"This is Colfax. Be Somebody."

"I don't do stand-up. I do sit down."

"It's like a college level sociology experiment in here." -LT

"What else do you need? Pretty boys and Taco Bell." -Edub

"OK; what do I do with this kid so that I don't break it?" -Sanjay

"Forsooth. And then you end it with depression." -Mike/Tim

"I have made a decision to be stupid and I'm stickin' to it!" -Flanders

"They're just a couple of Bubbas from Alabama." -Gary Wysocki

"It's like the difference between a fiddle and a banjo." -Gary on Indy

"Look at these technological bros with their f^ckin' faces." -Hanna

"I understand that there's a lot of anger going on down there-but I cut off my hand, I don't need a mop." -Randell

"I am the Bobby Fischer of Connect Four!" -John Wynne

"If my nuts blow up at this point, why would you care?" -Tom

"No, I've only seen his big ol' meat head." -Jess

"That's like asking Bambi to act like an a*^hole." -Alicia

"I'm afraid there might be snakes in my area." -JRe

Everybody falls in small degrees.

(fair warning: this is totes mcgotes a 'memory lane' post. i was watching the first season of Scrubs. stellar music. recollections included.)

i vividly remember a phone conversation that i had in the winter of 2000/2001. i'd been living in chicago for about 6 months, and had been "broken up" with the "first boy to ever make me cry" for almost a year. having previously been one of my best friends, we were just (and finally) at the point where we could have random and unawkward conversations. he had called to tell me about a band that he thought i would like. the number of people whose taste in music i unquestionably trust is few, but this guy just knew me. (he was right about the Old 97s, too.)

the other memories i have attached to this music is nearly, if not more, vivid. taking the train to evanston to see Vanilla Sky, stopping by a random record shop beforehand. renting a car to drive home one random weekend, this in the cd player as i parked at the cemetery one snowy afternoon to visit mike's grave. so many thoughts about thomas wolfe....



i once saw Earlimart at the hi-dive. they make the short list of bands who put on PHENOMENAL shows, exceeding expectations set by their albums. big time.



this week i saw a movie called happythankyoumoreplease. while the jury's still out on the film itself, the music was my bag. most was by this chic named Jamie Seeman, who goes by the name jaymay. usually i don't dig girl voices, but she's pretty righteous.

"He has all of his teeth. That is surprising."

"But you don't really hear anything."-Kevin

"Oop-a little sprinkle just went down to join the cheese." -me on spills
"A little snack pack in your tit-kerchief." -Erin

"Jill saying anything out of context is hilarious-but 'boner-killing-tit-kerchief' might be the best." -Todd

"Yeah, well, a lot of people moved when your mother and I got married." -MB

"By golly, I've got to be alright. I must be alright." -Grandma

"Licorice slurpee, right?" -Flanders

"I could not turn them over any slower or leave them there any longer." -Duey

"I rather enjoy shoveling dirt into the faces of...well, women." -Adam

"You got a lot going on on your boots right there." -Doug

"Why do you have a button on your head?" -Mel

"I just realized how appropriate it is that my bosom is heaving in this dress." -me on the opera
"You want some booze?" -Keller, also on the opera
"I don't know opera, but I know my Cyndi." -Keller

"Do you want Jesus to be your personal savior or your personal trainer?" -John

"People love watching fat people do stuff." -Adam

"That's the first link in the chain on the way to my mongolism. MOGULism. I'm gonna be a mogul." -Adam

"It's all country and Jesus in here." -me on Galesburg

"I don't know if you remember, but they had rootbeer. That was their thing." -Nate on Oogie's

"I need some dirtiness in my life. Yolkey but not whitey." -Sarah on the Broadview

"Well, I can't really tell. You haven't taken that lifevest off all night." -Eddie Peters on my body

"Pretty much whatever you ate at The Broadview plus fart." -Adam

"I brainwash all the grandkids." -Mel

"I've got my Associates Degree. TWO OF EM!" -Dusti

"Our relationship is unhealthy. The most passionate ones are." -Erynn

"Does the hula hoop gene skip a generation?" -Cheri

"Are you militarily ready for this evening?" -Adam

"We can't be teammates. But we can still be friends." -Randell

"Primary colors! Anxiety lights! Something's wrong!!" -Zac

i love the EL. i miss (mass and functional) public trans.

this music
comes courtesy of
The Chicago Reader.
i discovered
or remembered
these bands
whilst reading it
this past week.
on the train.
le sigh.

.

(also go to their website to hear the whole album Constant Future.)

"I could make that."

My grandmother was obsessed with owls. She collected them her whole life. As in HUNDREDS of owls on shelves in every room, magnets on the fridge, pins on her collar, earrings...you get the idea. So when I was flying home for her funeral, I made these little felt pins for all of the girls to wear to the service.



A few years ago, I started making jewlery out of buttons. First were the necklaces (an idea I stole from Grace Rockwell), then the rings...



then the hair clips (the fabric from one of these is old pajamas)...



I got a little out of control with the button flowers for my hair (This is the first one I ever made. Check out that awesome job with the hot glue.)...



When I got sick of freehanding flowers with button centers,



I moved on to rosettes with snaps! (This was the prototype, made from the leftover satin from the tutu I made last year.)




After making 11 new flowers, I wore one in my hair every day this past week.



When I was at the Fancy Tiger looking for fabric to make those rosettes, I saw a girl wearing a scarf made of the same material that I covered my kitchen chairs with...she told me that it was a mobius scarf and that I could find the instructions on their blog. Man alive, I've made three so far...and I'm pretty sure it's my new addiction.



My mom still had the scraps from a quilt she made me, so I pieced together a super random and busy one...



Here's me wearing the first one that I made...still my favorite.



I cut my material into 1/8 of a yard so that I could wrap it three times, but if you do the 1/4 yard, it wraps twice. It's super easy...and I got enough material for FOUR scarves for $14.32. You know I love a bargain as much as I love a scarf!

"Joe, who was not very moral, had no revulsion for the pit; he liked it."

-Even a bad Weezer song is still a pretty good song.

-The universe might be nudging me to do an art project with hubcaps. I saw random hubcaps on the sidewalk for three days in a row. Then I took note, thought about the project. AND SAW RANDOM HUBCAPS AMOK FOR THE FOLLOWING FOUR DAYS.

-Typing of art projects, I may make this blog even more schizophrenic and start posting photos of my handmade stuff. The glue gun and I have spent some quality time together recently. As a result, I am sporting a flower in my hair every day this week. (Well, and I'm not sure what I'm doing with the hair situation, so the buds are a helpful distraction while I figure it out.)

-I'm not sure if I'm exactly a creature of habit, but if I were, I've broken out of habits lately. I started sitting in a new coffee shop to read. AND I started walking Cheesman Park instead of City Park. Whoa, nelly. Sweet Valley High! Shark Farts!

-Hopefully heading southwest instead of northeast will change my headspace a bit. I'm also starting an improv class, so perhaps something will break loose within.

-On said walks, I was able to wear shorts and my chacos for three days in a row. woot-the tan line is back. I also wore heels and a dress two nights in a row...one night with bare legs. February in Colorado is blissful. (Make sure to remind me of that when it dumps snow here in April.)

-The other day when I was crossing Colfax, I was reminded of Broadway in Chicago. Weird.

-The other night I washed my sheets AND took a shower (unheard of, I know. triple whammy: my legs are shaved.). anyhooze, i stayed in bed a good amount of time extra after i woke, just so i could rub my feet together. simply the best.

"I'm not illiterate-my parents were married!"

"It is trembling cold outside."

"There is hardly ever a snow day at work."

"Chippy Jon Jones."

"Maybe they're chasing someone, but they forgot to turn on their lights. Or maybe the batteries died. Because police can do that."

"Oh-so your appendix is that thing that hangs in the back of your throat?"

"I don't know what a miracle is, but I know what ameercle is."

"Vampires have fangs and people have veins."

"That smells like caffeine. I've never even had caffeine before."

"Hang tight, dude, I'm working on it."

"They're ducks! Gooses can't go golfing!"

"Are you supposed to be dancing? Or are you supposed to be driving this car?!"

"Stop a moment. Roll a moment. Go a moment."

"This is in color. I thought you said it was in 3D."

"I just think that is so very sad." -Maria, on George Washington's death

"So stealing his painting and not peeing on his bed is as adult as I can be about it."

(or the overheard at The Thin Man edition...random nights when I didn't have the book, but had my phone...)

"She wore these terry cloth jumpsuits and big boots. She was so JAP."

"Roll the dice and smell real nice."

"It's not a skull thing. It's a skin thing. It's my goal in life to create the most...it's like I was battling a troll in the 80s." -John

"When you've sown your oats, oats just aren't that tasty." -Chris

"I told you the paparazzi would be here. We need to go through the back." -a double entendre, Marcus

"Are we in Texas? Again? That's like putting all your eggs into a basket of red flags." -Zac

"Last resort for you. First resort for me. I'm a libertine. What can I say?" -Zac

"Black man. White snow. Dead."

"No, I'm not a musician. I'm just a dancer."

"I haven't sprinted since the 90s. I've had no reason to sprint." -Todd

"This is the kind of music that makes me think I can levitate." -David

"When are you gonna fall in love with this beauty? She keeps telling me it's a silly question, but if I had all the right puzzle pieces, I'd make her mine. " -Loren

Said one day, one day, one too many days...

even though i promised (myself) that i wouldn't steal steph's friday phonics idea, it turns out that maybe i am. since she's apparently on a posting hiatus, i'm glad to attempt to step up to fill the gap. not nearly as informational, just a bit of what i've been listening to lately.

everything absent or distorted. one of my favorite local bands. i used to work with one of these guys at the library, they opened a show for my friend mike's band...and then i became obsessed. too bad they don't play together anymore. i woke up with this song in my head today.



when i lived in chicago, i met (and subsequently fell in love with) a musician named Chris Mills. here he is performing with The City That Works Orchestra (and the lovely Kelly Hogan) at the hideout. for you denver music scenesters, the closest i've found to that place is the larimer lounge.



i'll go ahead and keep it local with achille lauro. it was hard to pick a video...they're all poor quaility. there is one of them playing "No Brakes", which they once dedicated to me and my Ms. PacMan prowess. it's a mutual admiration. anyhooze, this jam is one of my favorites to see live. As Kevin once said, "No, that does not sound like a bunch of noise to me."

For the hobo on the go....in Northwest Africa

(this post may be a bit premature time-wise, but the book is oversploding with goodness. [Be sure to skip down a few posts for Faceplant quotes] some solid hours-long conversations, both in person and via the phone, have really delivered. well, and game night with the usual suspects....)

"No, I don't play that. That's you peoples' game." -JRe (moment of silence)

"Yeah...that's a tuxedo onesie. 'Cuz he likes to party." -charlie/lester/horatio

"Oh really? Then why is your crotch glowing red, Jacob?" -jacob tighe

"Let me break it down for you: We are built the same, but we come with completely different user manuals." -jacob tighe

"I am a #%(&^ financial consultant and I work in a toy store." -bradley

"It's not Woody Allen funny." -lisa

"This sober thing is freaking me out." -kevin

"We don't need to know that John Henry is going to die at the beginning of the song." -lisa

"Jump jaw swagger. Bust ya'll's heads." -panera dude

"I usually like to be smoking. If I'm not eating. Or drinking." -boombalias

"It lost it's snazziness halfway through." -boombalias

"You greet people with this..."
"Golden shower!"
"Kevin, if that is how you greet people...."
"NO, I DO NOT WANT ANY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!"

"I am not being a dick. You are being a vagina." -oh, married banter

"What kind of naked babies are you around?"

"Doo doo doooo and give God the glory glory...And look at my team."

"You get Jesus, I get books!"

"Cleaning the house never took so long!" -mdl on HASHrag/MarijuanaBroom/PotSwiffer

"Does everyone know that we're not playing charades?"

"How about you make bacon and open up all the windows today?!"

"It's their preference and business, so they should be able to choose."

(the title comes from a 5-year old. i ask: how does she know the correct verb tense?)

"I rarely leave the comfort of my own home."

"Hey guys! Want to smell my breath?!"

"There are vitamins in this apple. Are the white spots the vitamins?"

"This is delicious. But maybe not call it ants on a log. Ants that are not raisins. Craisins on a roll. That's what I should say."

"If I was you, my most prized possession would be my house. Otherwise you'd be homeless."

"My granddad has his very own chair."

before it makes a sound...

the eels. longtime favorite. this video...directed by wim wenders. yes.



bonnie "prince" billy. on the radio at 8am. perfection.



amy courts. the living room in nyc.



this one gets some lyrics:

"Stronger Than You Think”
(by amy courts | [c]2010 amalia musica)

And I know it’s gonna break you down
It’s gonna hurt like hell
Before it makes a sound
And I know it reaches everything
But you are stronger than you think you are
Right now

"My new thing is gonna be wearing men's pajamas."

As most of you know, I am enthralled with camp. I've been smitten since the age of 10. Last weekend I had the opportunity to be the "work crew boss" for Faceplant. Essentially, I got to hang out with 30-odd high school and college kids while we ran the kitchen and dining room for 400 middle schoolers. Yup, these amazing kids sacrificed their weekends to wake up before sunrise to serve little people. Humbling and fascinating.

So...camp. A chance to stop, to change, to rest, to retreat. The anomaly of camp is that it changes time--both compressing and expanding it. What seems like a day is a week, and vice versa. The relationships and experiences one has at camp are enduring and, usually, life-changing. There isn't so much pressure to be, to do, to achieve....blah blah blah. If you've been, you know. If you haven't, you should try it. Take it from this 34-year old: Life is too short to spend it hanging out with adults.

(I've listened to this a few times....so true.)
This American Life #109: Notes on Camp

As for Faceplant specifically, I've been going since 2004. Whether I'm slathering kids' faces with butter, sliding down icy sidewalks (or making them so with giant bowls of water), rocking out to the obnoxious "Party in the USA", or listening to 400 voices sing as one....it's always a good time. This year was a veritable cornocopia of quotables. Nicely done.

"We're just breezingg through naptime." -sophie

"It smells like butthole." -bkainz

"That was a pretty good Andy-girl laugh." -jill

"I'm crewin' all the time" -sarah jonathan zoolz

"It's not really inappropriate if you look at her face." -jill

"Can I see that? Because it's actually a scrub brush, not a broom. ...Hey, I found the scrub brush." -sarah jane

"Are you sure? Because it seems like you're laughing at me." -cameron

"So you would be familiar with the firmness, then." -nikita (insert a jill and sophie knowing glance)

"There's not even music for all the sound I'm producing right now!" -zane

"I don't know if anyone else has my same ding-dong." -sophie

"Well, I guess you're gonna have to get new friends." -bkainz

"Are you sure you're a Christian, man? You might want to send some missionaries to your face, because apparently it doesn't know." -zane

"I would say that I really like broccoli, but I don't." -tate

"Oh, so there's actually a book." -steve the video guy

"SAFARI PLANET!! That's the only thing I could think of to say." -tate

"You know you've reached a new plateau of group mediocrity when even a Canadian is alarmed by your lack of individuality."

"C'mon, no one showers in Denver. Plus, after a few beers showering is more fun anyways." -ryan kulp

"I never said I thought you were a bad listener. If you listened to me, you would know that." -stowe

"YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!!" -nick fones

"I feel like I just got frankensenced and myrrhed!" -boombalias

"I'm more of a fall color, actually." -trent

"I've got some drinking to do today!" -my mom on Christmas

"Yeah, you get this, and I get Barbie catalogs." -hippity-hop on Victoria's Secret

"I'm just trying to keep the holidays happy." -doug

"I'm, like, fudged out. Bad." -ryan canier

"Oh, so you don't have the sex?" -my mother's pedicurist, to me, IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER

"This coming from Little Miss Play-Upon-the-Edges." -ben

"I'm waiting for you to be done whating." -also ben

"You could have some more caffeine, like Jill here. Look at her: she's tile bouncing." -still ben

"You know what, Jill? I've probably sat in your sex before." -maggie

"Well, at first I thought it was a pink elephant."
"Nah, they mow about 50 feet."
"I was just trying it out. It didn't work." -all gems from Mike Bradford

"Apparently PeePee is better now." -me

"OK. But I'm gonna stop wearing pants." -Don Read

"A little saccharine? That's how I got diabetes-from singing it twice." -howie on the Sound of Music

"You're looking for something sweet and fresh? Have you met Jill?" -stephen

"Does this look gay? Because I'm worried." -matt

"Well the hair only grows so long, but the loneliness." -laura

"I think bisexual exists, but you cheat on somebody." -micah

"Well, you're anticipating booze. Wow." -paul

"You look exhausted right now. Do you need an IV?" -erin

"I don't understand fishing metaphors!!"

...and everyone knows that sardines are super gross.

-every morning (or early afternoon, don't judge) i walk down the block to St. Mark's. this past week i've loved digging into the snow packed sidewalk heels first to hear the crunch. like my friend bobby mcferrin says, simple pleasures are the best. now that everything is melted, stomped down or iced over, my morning was a bit empty.

-speaking of St. Mark's: the first guy to ever remember my drink perfectly called me "Jane" today. yesterday, too. after five months of calling me by my actual name. (post script: he called me by the right name yesterday.)

-i took a few boxes of winter clothes downtown to hand out to the homeless. in lieu of dropping them off at goodwill or the rescue mission, i went to the park to mingle with the people. i was offered drugs no less than 3 times. my favorite interaction was with a tiny asian man yelling, "What.can.I.have?! What.can.I.have?!" like a shotgun as i put a box on the bench.

-having an argument with an 8-year-old every afternoon about whether or not he has to wear a coat when it's 35 degrees outside is awesome. it's super rad to have that same discussion with a 6-year-old every morning.

-i finally hung up my bookshelves before i went to illinois. i then finally unpacked my books when i came back. half of them are still at poshak's, but of the 12 boxes now shelved, i'm guessing that i've read half of them. re-read 10%. for my own enjoyment, i'm gonna count tonight. i'll post my tally to see how accurate i am. (book counts as follows: on shelves: 574; read: 364/64%; re-read: 105/18%)

-my january is looking uber busy. faceplant next weekend, a play i'm doing the following two, and matt flies in from chicago tonight. he's never been to denver, so we're gonna tour the town all day saturday. and tonight he's invited me to join a "bunch of choir queens" for drinks. woot.