"Can you just ask about transgendered individuals? Right now? Just for me?" -Zach
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not friends with blacks or gays." -Todd
"Please come talk to me. Unless you are a woman who struggles with alcoholism. Just a dis-claim-er!" -David
"Why does it always seem like a good idea before we do it?" -Conor
"Oh-three claps for a 91?" -LT
"...and that's how I got beat up in high school." -donread
"It's neard! He has a neck beard. He can't grow facial hair above his jawline! He's harmless." -Charlie
"Unless you bring your kids here, nobody knows." -Seth
"Well, Carmelo left. So there's only about three black people left. There's me, Champ Bailey and then one other dude who works at the food court in the mall."
"No. And stop that." -Leah
"Is it a little fat girl, or is it whatever 'chalupa' means?" -Drew
"He just doesn't know that sometimes there's no talking times." -LT
"Guaranteed. You can't play volleyball and not have a baby." -Yochim
"I thought there was some kind of pre-existing condition. Like health insurance." -Conor
"I think the reason that television was invented is that parades suck." -Todd
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