"It's not classic because it's 'a classic,' it's classic because it's classic."

My brother Doug and cousin Ryan are here from Illinois. Counting me and our Denver cousin Ian, there has been a week of 4 Bradfords together creating quoteblog magic. Not for the fainthearted or anyone with any tender sensibilities.

We played many hours of Catchphrase, hung out at St. Mark's and the Thin Man, went to a Rockies' game and the REI on the Platte River....that's the backdrop for the first set of gems.


"What I am doing now...is hard." -doug

"She knows all the black characters." -ian

"I don't know that much about Neptune, but I know it has 'tune' at the end of it. And Mars doesn't." -ian

"Play wood?" -ryan

"I don't have proper..." -doug
"FOOTWEAR!" -ryan

"What happens when Mars attacks and you don't have the internet?" -doug

"That's what I meant." -jill
"That's what you said." -doug
"And that's what I meant." -jill

"So even the black kids in Denver are hipsters." -doug

"There's a car coming. You probably can't hear it." -ian

"She is gonna be rocked." -doug

"They're stretch fabric." -ian on his shorts
"They're shop rags." -ryan

"Chics are of the essence."
"Look at the puppy in the truck!"

"There is a girl in the car. And she is your sister." -jill

"You might be the only person smoking a cigarette outside REI." -ian

"And that was before it was 90% dark." -doug

"Hey Doug, you got that foosball table together yet?" -ian

"I'm not a squirrel. Or a rabbit." -ryan

"I'm really sorry, guys. That should've been easy. But you are idiots." -ian

"How does it get dangerous? I will bang my sh&t to the right." -doug

"This is where Ryan Bradford needs to learn." -doug

"Denver gooder." -ryan

"There is mastering a skill and knowing when to use it." -doug



Sunday night we went up and camped outside of Glenwood Springs. There was a fire ban, so we wore our headlamps and entertained ourselves by playing dice games.
The boys insisted that we throw some thug poses. That's Ian in the middle and Doug on the right. We're pretty legit.


"Most people, when they're betting with rocks that they find in a driveway..."-ryan

"I'm not doing the Doug dance for nothing." -doug

"I can't wait to be there when you tell them how many rocks you won." -ryan

"IN COLORADO!" -ryan


We met our cousin Kelly, her boyfriend Jason (some of my earliest Denver posse) and their friends from California at the trailhead for Hanging Lake. It's a mile hike, virtually straight up, to this magnificent lake.


"Four Bradfords. Six idiots."



The view on the way up...

"Quicker to a cigarette! Quicker to a cigarette!" -ryan and doug
"There's no crying in hiking." -doug
"See you guys in 150 feet!" -ian
"Are you a hippie now?" -jason













Jill, Doug & Ryan under Spouting Rock



On the drive back to Denver, we decided to have our picnic lunch at Vail Pass. The sweet view and refreshing breeze prompted us to do some yoga. Well, Ian and I actually did yoga. Doug and Ryan just mocked us. It was pretty standard.


"So apparently living in the suburbs means you have grass in your yard."



"Don't drink beer when you're older."
"I always make statistics up. Period."





"Wait-who's Mike Bradford?"
"You and your dumb deaf ear!"


After the past few weeks I've had, with major trust issues shaking out and basically not feeling comfortable anywhere, it was super fantastic to have these boys here and just spend a week existing. That's good stuff right there.

"Trying to make sense of it is like trying to gather the river in your arms."

the absence of blogs (quote, book or otherwise) has many contributing factors. i've not really pondered whether or not to share with the internets what's been happening. the last few days it's become apparent that an outpouring is nearing inevitability. wait for it. and thanks for loving me.

"I'm on a chair! I'm on a chair! But I can't dance." -christie

"They're Scottish. Or maybe British. Well, they're not from Colorado."

"I have a super developed sense of stating the obvious." -john

"He ruined my chances of getting an account at Blockbuster." -nils

"That's what I get for being a nice Christian gay." -marcus

"Meadowlark gets his own day? I've known you for 8 years! I don't have my own day." -edubs

"Aside from your vocabulary, I'm not really sure what you have going for you." -stu

"Are there pants? Or are there short shorts?" -john

"Now I'm telling my two Thin Man friends. Well, Jill's my all-the-time friend." -LT

"When you go out with clean intentions, that's when fish jump in your boat." -john

"You know what I like: bacon and beer." -jill

"It's like wet Denver is floating by." -logan

"Either way, she put it in a box." -dicker

"That was a giant horse's penis squirting." -laura

"$2.50 PBR?! That sh^t better come in a can!" -micah

"This is Care Bear Halloween! This is CARE BEAR HALLOWEEN!!" -jill

"Old people should go home and leave me alone." -steve

"It looks like he's in the middle of a 'no rules' week." -JRe

"Just 'cuz Jesus and I don't see eye to eye doesn't mean we don't both have eyes." -john

"I'll be sausage slappin' down the street to save your a$$." -james

"That dude plus sports equals zero." -edubs

"It puts the lotion on its' back or else it gets my hose again." -jason

"Blacks are like redheads: there's no in between." -rod

"I like a little beer poop mix." -will

"I'm not even going to give you the "For instance," because it's bad." -dolo

"Don't let the leather fool you, he is a child." -dicker

"Maybe it's a competition to see who can read harder." -adrian

"All I got was blue balls. And it tasted good." -andrew

"No, I have a picture with him on facebook, I just don't remember his name." -kevin

"She tried to be incognito. But she was totally suspicious. She was incogspicious." -bj

"This is not awkward on three different levels." -zac

on my recent drive through kansas, i got to listen to some sweet jams. courtesy of some cds i made circa 2006-2008....i make some pretty sick mixes. here are a few for your listening pleasure.

i like the album version better, but i dig that he's playing with his hood up.






oh, keb mo. you my boy. (i do despise jay leno, but it was the only decent video.)




rufus. a roadtrip staple. hard to pick just one, but this one makes it for the bea arthur reference.






this is a recent favorite. i heard it as i was walking down the street last night.

"Like a one-a-day vitamin regimen."

"I'm all Banked out." -Dolo

"Whatever. There are Carl's out there who need to be claimed!" -genny binder

"It's like a hobo playground out here. Babar's hobo jungle." -john wynne

"Watch out jeans!"

"Steroids will do you no good, dude. And they'll shrink your balls, too." -troy

"Anytime I go to a place that has a steak buffett...." -dicker

"And then I went to second base. And didn't run." -erin

"It smells better than hot pee." -jason

"Whoa. Whoa. I'm a faggot. I need to go. Away from you." -brian

"It's not because she's gay. It's because she's gross." -jaci

"He seems like a one trick pony. But I like his trick." -john wynne

"If I were a piece of cornbread, where would I hide?" -david

"I hate that he's here. And that you know him." -loren

"I walk around real quiet at night. Pleasure or pain. Where is it?" -drew

"You just dorked it." -batzer

"Black women drew the blueprints. White women are scared." -patty

"I have a scar on my soul. From cheese." -al

"Hey-can you guys drive an automatic?" -ryan

"Is there bacon stock in the soup? Because I like that." -hones

"Ok. But not two handfuls." -shannon

"If I was gay, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating twinkies. Or crackers." -david

The Kickball Metaphors (or Thoughts from a Bike)

-music should fit the atmosphere. specifically if you've obviously worked at creating an atmosphere. por ejemplo: r & b, southern rock, and john lee hooker do not equal Gypsy House Cafe. all three were heard there recently. it was super disconcerting.

-i made perhaps the perfect summer scarf last night. i found a funzie fabric with little kids swinging from trees, which i used with a small blue floral print remnant. if you still haven't checked out my stuff, you can support a terrific cause by clicking on my etsy site. (the cause would be Scum of the Earth.)

-"Because you can't decide if you're a vehicle or a pedestrian." that's right, mandykeller, i can't. as i ride my bike everywhere, i oftentimes find myself above the law. well, in my head anyways. i also find myself talking to cars (even more than when driving) and pointing, saying things like "SCOOT-SCOOT-SCOOT-ER-ROO!" when they aren't doing what i'd like.

-mostly i love that i'm noticing more and more about where i live. stuff i haven't noticed before. the habit of going to new bookstores and coffeeshops is accompanied by eating brunch by myself at a newly discovered locale every monday.

-you also have the opportunity to notice and engage with people when you're biking. random three-sentence conversations happen, and you actually see the motorcycle with two wheels in the front (what is that all about, anyway?) and have time to think about it.

-regardless of the mode of transportation, i am thoroughly annoyed by people who sloooow down to turn right. especially when one-way streets are involved. grrr.

-for some reason, toni braxton's "Unbreak My Heart" has been in my head today. i'll go ahead and blame the gypsy house for that.

-so there's this neighbor kid, maybe 7-years-old, who rides a blue bike. he's taken to saying "Hi" to me quite often. our neighborhood isn't exactly booming with kids, and i think his parents only let him ride on the sidewalk on our side of the block. lately every time i come home on my bike, he rides over to say hey. he usually sits on his bike at the end of our walk and waits until i pull my bike up the stairs. maybe i'll ask his name and have a new bff.

-originally i was going to philosophize on how kickball scenarios translate quite well into real life situations, but i've lost the gusto for it. essentially, there is much to be said for being aware of others, but just as much to be said for being focused on yourself. maybe i'll keep that brewing and report back. cover, stir, simmer.

-in a somewhat related circle of thought, i have found myself being way too apologetic in some instances. as in with my entire being. not necessarily a pushover, but certainly more permissible than usual. i'mma work that out, too.

"What do the poverty-stricken have that I don't?"

my kid quotes may be waning, as i now nanny for a 4-month-old. however, the mother of said child is a doozy. i can't say we're cut from the same cloth entirely (she's a Republican...as in has a George W. Bush magnet on her refrigerator and has read his 2 biographies. what?), but our senses of humor line up quite nicely. so here we have the nora version of the quoteblog.

"Well, I hope you wore something low-cut and completely inappropriate." on interviews

"I'm a Republican, Jill; I'm not an idiot." -on palin

"It makes my eyes bleed." -on the huffington post

"I got day drunk. It's my favorite drunk." -on mother's day

"It's not cold enough to wear tights. Nor is it 1986, so pantyhose are out of the question."

"I already thought you were fantastic, but now I want to hump your leg."

"Is there a noun I can trust?"

"Can you just ask about transgendered individuals? Right now? Just for me?" -Zach

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not friends with blacks or gays." -Todd

"Please come talk to me. Unless you are a woman who struggles with alcoholism. Just a dis-claim-er!" -David

"Why does it always seem like a good idea before we do it?" -Conor

"Oh-three claps for a 91?" -LT

"...and that's how I got beat up in high school." -donread

"It's neard! He has a neck beard. He can't grow facial hair above his jawline! He's harmless." -Charlie

"Unless you bring your kids here, nobody knows." -Seth

"Well, Carmelo left. So there's only about three black people left. There's me, Champ Bailey and then one other dude who works at the food court in the mall."

"No. And stop that." -Leah

"Is it a little fat girl, or is it whatever 'chalupa' means?" -Drew

"He just doesn't know that sometimes there's no talking times." -LT

"Guaranteed. You can't play volleyball and not have a baby." -Yochim

"I thought there was some kind of pre-existing condition. Like health insurance." -Conor

"I think the reason that television was invented is that parades suck." -Todd