"Why do gay people need their own newspaper?"

(after the insanity of the boys visit, my brother returned to denver just 2 weeks later. with my mom. we had a blast doing all kinds of touristy things. and generally laughing at random nonsense. that's where the first few quotes come from...)

"Are you going to get drunk and then ride roller coasters?"
"No. I'm going to ride roller coasters and THEN get drunk."

"I'm old and I don't have a job." -doug on the ladies

"This is upside down? THIS IS UPSIDE DOWN!!" -doug on mocking jill

"It come right up to us."
"Came."
"It come right up. I could have petted it."
"Pet it."
"PETTED IT."

"It is inbred in me."
"Ingrained."
"INBRED."

"I'm going loosey goosey, so I'm having more fun." -jill
"This tickles my tummy!" -mom

"Do you hear that thunder?" -mom
"That's the Tilt-a-Whirl." -jill

"This thing is held together with bubble gum! You can't live forever..." -doug's new best friend

"Are you making fun of me?" -mom

"I was just putting on a 2.5 multiplier." -doug on height

"This is horrible! I am not having fun!" -mom

(end of family visit...we will now be moving on to Trailer Trash Thin Man style, LT's bachelorette party and wedding, and life as "normal" for me.....you've been warned.)

"It just degenerates really quickly when there's words involved." -micah on games

"I have some tequilla because I've been hanging out with Mexicans." -nico

"I just tattooed half the MILFs on the Western Slope!" -brian

"Honey! Come watch me get a tattoo from this gay boy!" -random AARP tour busser

"I don't think I can handle any happiness right now." -kendra on chinese food

"I AM LEGEND is coming true." -darren on NYC
"Will Smith always brings the dope stuff." -marcus

"Apparently you've never been to a Diana Ross concert. You always have a back-up outfit." -marcus

"It's like IBS. But of the soul." -nils

"You look like a girl who can move some shit." -eric

"You see, my biggest goal is to eat a hot dog later in the evening." -LT on dinner

"The army surplus store in Pekin is real good if you like guns." -phil

"It might be my armpit swagger." -kevin

"It's her birthday. There are more cupcakes." -mat

"I love that you went balls first." -micah

"It softens up pretty quickly, but then it goes hard." -tarynn

"I wish I could carry a purse and not look gay." -tyler

"Were you just telling an enema story and I missed the whole thing???" -tarynn

"It's probably licensed." -jill on hot dog carts

"I didn't know he would be getting naked. But that's my fault." -kevin on charlie

"Weed and leather. That's my billboard." -marcus

"So I let him go right on thinking that I slept with his mom." -mat

"I don't like going through life with an agenda. It's like a job fair." -de la

"I'm curious to see your biorhythms." -brian

"Don't pick me up, I'm fine right where I am."

-I have been missing Illinois sumpin' fierce these past few weeks. Not going back this summer is a killer. I'll be back in October, but it's so not the same. My connection with geography and landscape is

-Super redeeming conversations with kids recently. Doesn't necessarily convince me that I'm in the right place for now, but it does give me a little boost to know I'm making a difference for the little ones.

-While driving the other day, I heard a song by a band that I'm friends with...it took me back to the place in time when they were just getting some notoriety around Denver. I remember going to their shows and being wicked excited for what was to come for them. In general, there was a hopeful feeling for my life then. Recently I've experienced a lack of hope. Kind of an all-encompassing one. Yikes. Newness is not something that's been near to me in a quite a bit. Hrrmm...

-However, my friend GBinder and I just started a new project that may change that. It's mostly top secret, but we're both anticipating big things on the horizon by the end of the year. Baby action steps for now.

-Since I started my big girl job, lazy mornings, bike rides and coffeeshops have been replaced with early bedtimes, naps and movies. Le sigh. However, I am taking advantage of this afternoon at Crema. Love the large versions of my little chair here. And the Herkimmer is pretty killer, too.

-The increase in movie-watching is thanks to Kevin. However, our living arrangement agrees with me. The other night I made dinner and then he treated to ice cream....followed by some foos. Normal night. Solid night.

"And then I puked barf and puke."

"Whoa. That's a long time for livin'."

"This is Justin Beiber."
"No, this is Katy Perry."
"Well, it has a Justin Beiber voice."
"And it says 'Baby'."
"That means he has a wife."

"No! I was onpatient!"

"One time I did something that was danger. I went skydiving off a building. And I landed on my feet, of course."

"I think I smell my mom coming. Actually, that's my dad I think I smell. That's my dad you smell."

"HEY Miss J! Is that how you spell your stinkin' name?!"

"You just took a huge dump on my day."

"She really is that adorable."

"You look very pretty today."
"I know."

"Is that your real voice??"

"You want to talk about failure?" (proceeds to sing Dolly Parton's Jolene)

"My middle name is usually called 'Cinderella'."

"I'm pretty good with nature."

"You know me-I'm a big peanut fan, so I'll have a hamburger before I leave."

"I love the smell of memory."

"Well, it sounds like 'urine,' so add the 'b'."