"I think we're just getting used to the crazy."

"All I really need are wifebeaters."
"So that's a yes to french fries, then?"
"I can figure out how to lick frosting out of a bag on my own, Erin!"
"I don't want to take your dreams away."
"Well, they're just waiting for Jimmy. They know he's here. They're shawshankin' it."
"Something is not right in the world: I am crafting and you are singing a Rod Stewart song!"
"Charlie Brown-he does it for me every time."
"Well cr cuus roo roo can kiss my pale white bleep because she's been to Thailand 3 times this year!"
(all of the above were stated by either me or Edubs in our kitchen on any random night.)

"Then we can all get into ker-kertz together." -Doug on travel plans

"Can we just back the truck up a bit? Erin has a job?" -Jess

"You probably shouldn't treat your parents badly, or steal their money, or be an asshole." -LT on 1 Timothy

"She has PTSD." -LT on pocket full of homies

"That's because your second language is mumbling." -BJ

"I'll have the Chef Special." -Julian

"You're definitely gay, you're straight and single, and you might be a lesbian. You seem like a free spirit. And, well, you're wearing orange pants." -Pete's waitress on our table

"I need you to never say that word again." -Jess on jeggings

"We're playing serious bowling over here in a second." -BJ

"That's what I get for talking to a bleepedy bleepin' Cubs fan right before I throw!" -Tom

"I plan events. Karla plans a life." -Micah

"No, Phill isn't running any gamut-Karla is lapping that track." -me

"If you ever need a lawyer who will do anything out of his basement, I've got a recommendation." -Faith

"It's kinda like a relationship-ups and downs. Sometimes you want to give it up because not every episode is pleasurable." -Laura

"Religious with the earth? Or religious with God?" -Jess

"What do you mean you don't know what Irish Spring soap is?! Don't you wash your balls?" -Gio on Walgreens

and the following were all overheard while watching the eclipse outside The Thin Man:

"Don't look directly at it." (seriously.)
"I have my sunglasses on just in case." (just as seriously.)
"You have about an hour and a half before it de-clipses."
"Am I the only one who did my research?"
"I was on the internet for 5 minutes and I know everything there is to know about the eclipse."
"I am loving hating you right now."
"Eclipse shots!"
"The internet has words."