It makes me look less bald, but makes me look more crazy.

"But not chickadees. I'm not sure....maybe because they're bouncy?" -steph on the irrational

"Eh-it's just her foot." -steph on 2nd grade injuries

"Look. Right under my big finger. Well, right under the biggest finger that I have." -me on pointing

"And his name is T-Y." -Erin on cute

"My lips itch!"
"I'm so tired!"
"My feet hurt!"
-Jill, Lindsay, and steph on cabrides

"Did anyone else see the pickin' and the diggin' and the eatin'?!" -Erin on neighbors
"Oh, I saw it." -cabbie on same

"Eat local. Steal your neighbor's apples." -Faith on property lines

"The delectable feminine fig." -Anne on harvesting
"You can make a great tart from a fig." -Claudia
"It's not a fig." -Faith on mendicino

"Sleep with a fan? Interested in a sex show? Need 3 blankets and 12 pillows? Every room has something to offer." -Erin on sleepovers at our house

"Once you hit 60, you can start wearing fruit on your pants." -LT on fashion

"That's what Lindsay Tighe says no matter when I see her. 10am? 'I want to go dancing.'" -Micah on legendary nights

"You just got the tip! Just the tip!" -Kevin on Nacho Libre thumbs

"Tall man's coming out!" -Chandra, also on digits

"It's almost too slippery for me." -Kevin on Burt's Bees

"Well, I just got out of the shower. We're trying to wrestle...rustle up...let's round up these cows! There were 136 cows. Yeah, we got like 30 of 'em." -Doug on pitch black farming

"At least you didn't live there. It could be worse." -Random show-goer (let's say Andrew) on Littleton

"Well, there's still time. We've got goods to offer." -me on striking Mumford tickets on CL

"Now, if I didn't ask questions about the things that you say, my perception of your life would be very different." -JRe poking a lamb's breast

"I don't know any kind of music that he makes." -JRe on Dr. Dre

"Well, the kind of music that Debbie listens to...I don't know any of those peoples' names. '...like airplanes in the night sky...I could really use a wish right now....'" -JRe on Alicia

"I'm pretty sure you have the same outfit, too." -Erin on Zack Galifianakis

"No, she thought she was bringing souls home." -Lizzie on the unawares

"You're the closest to the door. Batter up!" -Erin on leases

"It's constantly... I don't want to say, like herding cats. That's become cliche, but it's akin to that. Really, really naughty cats. That don't give a flip. And some of them have emotional problems and then some cats aren't very bright, and some are screaming and yelling all the time and there's some cats that are so bored they're crawling around in the corner and some of the cats are sitting really really still, but I don't have time to pay attention to them....And I'd like to buy another vowel." -Keller on 3rd graders (via voicemail, no less)