as i wrote a bit ago about being grown up enough to truly deal with life alongside people who are having a rough go of it, i attempted to describe this to a friend via text conversation. i doubt i can any better verbalize it through typing a blog, so i'll just copy a few of the text messages here.
that (this) is true for me. and those around me. hard to succinctly express.
i'm not quite embracing it, but living in it. truly. allowing time to be.
practicing the things i've never lived out before...hard stuff, but it feels right.
i've never liked fall. i've long had friends who have fully relished the coming of change, the ideas of nature mirroring the experiences of our lives. the metaphorical dying to self to allow room for growth and the horizon being full of rebirth. myself, i'd rather everything stay green and lush.
this year, however, has been slightly skewed. as i was taking a walk the other night, i listened to the few leaves that have started to fall as they crunched beneath my footfall. i was, dare i say, excited by the anticipation of what that would sound like. i waited for it. thrilled, even, to be sitting in wait. enjoying the moment, but also surrendering to the possibility of the good that could come from this season.
it's not an easy time for anyone that i've had conversations with these past few weeks. heartbreak abounds. but there is a comfort in knowing that this community will see it through together. that there isn't a silent struggle going on for each individual, but that our lives are interwoven enough to share the harsh realities of what life is handing us.
reading some dorothy parker the other night, i found these quotes apropos...
"We've got better things to think about. Well, we know we're going to be happy. Don't we?"
"There was a silence with things going on inside it."
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