"Existential blad-y bloo. That's totally mine."

"You don't have any Boohbahs? How can you not have any Boohbahs? And now she has 2 Boohbahs?" -Smiley on bedtime

"You have the longest thumbs I've ever seen on anybody in my entire life." -Mel on Conkers

"Now I'm really confused. There's a cat and then there's the Shaggin' Wagon? These are 2 separate things?" -Edub on ridiculous porch situations

"I would eat off of this sidewalk before I would eat off of that carpet." -E on 2101

"And that's what's called the 'one more thing'."-JRe on bad days

"I gotta get my little finger back in." -JRe on Conkers

"There's a tater tot inside of you. How could that be a problem?" -Tony on The Atlantic

"...not as dry as you remember." -Nate Budde on tag lines

"Steal a cab-we'll never get pulled over again." -Sherwood on Wednesdays

"That is the greatest idea I've ever heard." -David Bradford on seriousness

"No way dude! How long have you been breakdancing?!"

"Oh, man....a couple days." -Random 'Hug the Right!' Knox hipsters

"Well, Jill, I got your water. It's down here at the end of the table. But it looks like you've got 2 balls to worry about." -David on the fooz

"That's what she said." -me, ftw

"I've gotta be honest. You have a crazy memory. But the only thing I remember from my time in Colorado is that 180 days." -David on differences

"That's like national news." -me on Blago

"No, that's like National Lampoon's." -MB

"So you're basically saying that geography is more important than people." -Tnads on Chicago

"Yeah, I never really understood riding bikes." -Amber on herself

"Look-he wears his pants just like you: super short, super tight, pin striped, carabiner with keys." -Erin on Poker Face

"Thank you for helping me relive my pain." -Richard on Poker Face

"Nope. Stop it. You cannot talk during his performance. I'm waiting for him to shake his tiny little man hips." -Erin, still on Poker Face

"I'm just not sure if he's pervy-sketchy-crazy or I-really-like-my-van-quirky." -Edubs on T-Y

"Then he reached the hill and the little dogs were zoop-zoop-zoop...so he gave them a courtesy pedal." -Erin on the bike Marshall

"It'll sound egotistical coming from me, but you're legit." -Chunky on Wyclef

"I just need cute neighbor boy to come on home." -me on Bud

"Why do I always feel like I'm missing the joke or the story with you?" -Erin

"Well, thank goodness for Barnes & Noble." -JRe on garage sales

"Note to self: no melted dairy products near the nasal passages when there may be ninja kicking and party-boying." -me on the inevitable

"I need more cars to high-five." -Edubs on 13th

"You might not have noticed me, but I was there. I saw you touch yourself. Several times, Jill." -Tony on karaoke