"YOU DON'T SAY ME THAT!"

"Never did. Never can." -Brady, 5, on bandaids

"I don't feel so good. I think I got the germs."-Hudson, 4

"YOU HAVE TO STOP DOING THAT!" -Konrad, 3, on crying

"You already know all of this!" -Paxton, 4, on adults asking questions

"I do not love this." -Rylan, 4, on everything she hates

"I need a little help here." -Sawyer, 3, on shoes

(reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle)
me: *points to a giant dirt pile* "What's he standing on?"
Hudson: "GRAVITY!"

me: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
kid: "I don't know"
me: "What does your dad do at work?"
kid: "My dad smokes cigarettes."

"Holy Toledo!" -Caleb, 3, on chaos
"Oh my heavens!" -Caleb, 3, on continuing chaos

"I built the block tower so high she finally talked to me!" -Carter, 5, on Evelynn (and 3 weeks of silence)

Will, 3: "This kid has an attitude! And this kid has an attitude!"
Kamden, 3: "HEY! We're just trying to play here!"

"Human eye juice." -also known as tears

"You better watch out, or I'll go Thriller on you!" -a threat? or an invitation to dance?

"Ms. Bradford, Minnie died. She got ran over by a car and we buried her. She is SO dead." -Avery, 3, on cats

"Hey, baby, do you wanna kiss me?" -Bentley, 3, making moves

"That is TERRIFYING!" -Hudson, 4, on naptime

"Jesus Christ! I keep forgetting to tell my teacher I wanna learn the alphabet!" -Shannley, 4, on goals

"I keep forgot-ing." -Avery, 3, on hand washing

"That does not taste good for me." -Bently, 4, on cauliflower

"Eww! That smells like when Aunt ShelBell sprays hair!" -Caleb, 3, on air freshener

"What's your favorite song? Mine is DROPKICK MUH JESUS!" -Hudson, 3, on the truth

"It smells like farts in here." -Hudson, 5, on brussells sprouts

"It's funny when you use the little sink." -Shannley, 4, on kid vs. adult sizes

"He kissed me on the cheek two times. That is so gross!" -Tinley, 4, on brothers

""Bee-ee-8-9 is how you spell my name." -Bentley, 4, getting closer

"BACK UP! You put maple syrup on your oatmeal? I put water on mine." -Carter, 5, on breakfast

"You were my favorite part of Pharmfest!" -Caleb, 3, on teachers in the wild

"P is for vegetable stack!" -Leon, 4, on pizza

"When I grow up, I'm gonna own an Olive Garden."

"My favorite part was all the parts." -Brady, 5, on field trips

"It's like I work here!" -Gavin, 5, on paper towels

"OK GOOGLE knows everything I say." -JJ, 5

"I don't know how to get my voice out." -Rylan, 4, on asking questions

"I picked him because he's cute." -JJ, 5, on Gavin

"I am not going to marriage you!" -Gavin, 5, on being picked

"A CUBS GAME??? Gross." -Hudson, 4, on teams

"Maybe he ate too much sugar." -Hannah, 4, on the flu

"My dad will come to your party. 'Cuz I bet it's a beer party." -Maya, 4, on roller skating

"I have so many boogers in my lungs." -Gavin, 5, on allergies and coughing

"Can you call my mom? I've had a bit of a day." -Adrix, 4, on Tuesdays

"If my brother was here, he would ruin it. Because he hates rainbows, unicorns, and anything I love. HE WOULD DESTROY IT." -Maya, 4, on Chris

Mackenzie: "Where is Mr. Bradford?"
Me: "There is no Mr. Bradford."
Mackenzie: "Oh, that's why you don't have babies."

"I have a belly button and it makes me itchy." -June, 4, on princesses

"I am a face monster!!" -Rylan, 4, on cupcake frosting

"You are wearing a dress. And big earrings. And I don't even know what is going on with your lips!" -JJ, 5, on graduation

"Bananas have no armpits." -Brady, 5, on going bananas

"That's a mighty robust bagel!"

kid quote blog returns. the preschool edition.

"Ms. Bradford, we have a problem. The problem is it's cold outside." -Hudson, 4

"QUEEN BUG!!" -Lincoln, 4, on queen bees

"I'm so excited for February. Because February 4 is SNACK DAY." -Dylan, 5, on the SuperBowl

me: Do giraffes hibernate or migrate?
*blank stares*
me: Where do giraffes go in the winter?
"Uh, Ms. Bradford? Giraffes stay at the zoo." -Gavin, 4

me: What's your favorite candy?
"CAKE!" -Keegan, 3

"He makes money at work. That's all he does." -Maya, 4, on her dad's job

"I hate that. I hate that so much. I never want to do that." -Maya, 4, on glue

"Chickens poop eggs out." -Paxton, 4

"It smells like breath." -Gavin, 4, on peppermint tea

"It feels like I'm marrying someone!!" -Gavin, 4, on peppermint

"I found poo-poo on the floor." -Layken, 5, on problems

"You better watch out of me. I'm gonna sneeze." -Layken, 5

"Ms. Henness....Miss, uh, ....Glasses! ....Uh....Ms. Bradford!" -Layken, 5, on remembering names

"Ms. BadBird." -Maddax, 5, on me

"The whole world is really wild." -Tinley, 4

me: Who can tell me a word that starts with 'V'?
"VERB!" -Adrix, 3, on brilliance

Layken: No. We are not friends. You are not being nice to me.
Me: Welp, this is the schedule. Right now is quiet time.
Layken: I do not like that.

"Ms. Bradford, I believe that most people are good." -Lincoln, 4, on breaking my heart

"Hims do that." -Paxton, 3, on pronouns

"Listen! It's a ding-ding gate!" -Lincoln, 4, on trains

"Ms. Bradford, your hair is pretty good." -JJ, 5, on braids

me: *sprays peppermint oil*
Layken: "Oh, man!!! That smells good!"
*puts face in armpit*
**eyes water**
Layken" "I do not want to smell that anymore! IT SMELLS AWFUL GOOD."

"This is a challenge." -Adrix, 4, on scissors